


maybe I would save you

by ImagineYourself



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Possession, Angst, Falling In Love, Falling in General, M/M, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2770085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were different when they fell.</p><p>"You haven't lost everything. You haven't lost me. You found me, and I found myself in you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe I would save you

**Author's Note:**

> Looking through some old Samifer fic ideas, I wanted to write something short for them while I'm in the process of like three other fics for other ships..

When Sam said yes it was like everything Lucifer had ever dreamed. And so much more. All his preparations, all his thinking and his praying and his wondering what it would be like when he finally entered his true vessel... none of that made him ready at all for the actual moment. He was shocked into momentary stillness as soon as he filled Sam's body and finally— _finally—_ touched the man's soul. It was a moment that, for the two of them, seemed as if it lasted many years, but was really just a few milliseconds.

 _Sam_.

The whisper Lucifer let out was meant for Sam's ears only and was perceived by him much like a thought that was simply sent from one to the other. The human's soul shifted slightly inside the cool, bright cocoon of Lucifer's grace.

_Lucifer?_

_I'm here._ The angel sent warmth and love towards the beautiful little ball of energy that was almost swallowed up inside of his hugeness crammed into one body. He carefully wrapped himself around that light tighter, being sure to keep it safe and protected without smothering it.

Sam was moving around slightly, halfheartedly trying to get out, trying to push through the layers that were holding him in, holding him tight. _Lucifer, I have to—there's something I need to—_

_It's too late, Sam. I'm sorry._

The little soul within him stopped moving. Sam was frozen, realization flooding in. He never had a chance. The moment Lucifer touched him he was done for. The moment he said yes he was giving up every chance. Lucifer now knew him inside and out, and he knew exactly how to keep Sam trapped, how to make sure the hunter would be stuck forever.

 _Sorry?_ The question came as a surprise to them both. Sam took the equivalent of a breath and launched into action. He pushed at Lucifer's grace, scratching him and thrashing about. _You're_ sorry _that you're trapping me? Sorry that I can't send you back to Hell now? Sorry for—for what?_

 _For everything._ The angel's voice was soft and full of regret.

_Lucifer, what—?_

_I'm sorry you had to get caught up in all this mess. I never wanted you to have to feel pain or sorrow and I'm sorry that I am the cause of much of that._ Sam was silent as Lucifer spoke, sounding for once as old as he actually was. He was tired and worn through, though his grace still burned strong and he continually sent little waves of comfort and love to Sam. _I don't like what I've done but..._

 _It needed to be done._ Sam finished for him, sounding like he was repeating a set of words that he had heard far too many times to count during his life.

_Sam—_

The soul shrank from him, trying as hard as he could to make himself as small as possible, hiding from the angel that was all around, surrounding him inescapably. _No. No, stop._

Lucifer didn't speak again, choosing instead to hold him in a loose grasp of love and grace, hoping that eventually Sam would change his mind. That Sam would see things the way Lucifer did.

. . .

Things were different when they fell. The change started when Sam took control. When he figured out Lucifer's weaknesses, his own strengths, and he turned the tables, trapping the angel inside while he made his choices and said his goodbyes. Most noticeably, the change was in Lucifer. He was limp, having lost the will and the power to fight against the brightness of Sam's soul, which was now wrapped tight around him, intent on keeping him long enough to get him into Hell. Really, he didn't need to worry, the angel wasn't going anywhere.

When they fell, they fell together, and Sam didn't let go of him even when he knew he didn't have to hold on. Even as they were descending, moving slowly further and further down into the pit. He never let go, just cradled Lucifer's weak grace within him and radiated something like... love.

_Lucifer._

_Sam?_

_I'm here._

_Didn't we already have this conversation?_ The archangel tried for humor, but his failure at it was imminent in his voice.

Sam choked a sob that was half of a laugh. _Yeah, we did. Except last time you were holding me, and this time... this time I've got you._

Lucifer could feel himself relaxing, his grace reaching out towards Sam's soul, finding comfort in the warm feel of it next to him. _Thank you, Sam._

_For what? Bringing you back to Hell?_

_For stopping me._

The two were quiet, still falling, time seeming to pass them by in odd increments. Sam couldn't keep track of it. _It needed to be done_ , Sam breathed.

Lucifer molded himself around the hunter's soul, some affection breaking through the defeat crushing him. _I lost to you, and now I understand why. I lost everything..._

_You haven't lost_ _everything. You haven't lost me. You found me, and I found myself in you._

If he hadn't been a bodiless mass of energy, Lucifer thought he might have cried. Instead, he let Sam wrap him in a crashing wave of love and hope and the knowing that no matter what happened, they were together.


End file.
